art of conversation

Tone of voice is perhaps the most important aspect of conversation. To control the tone of voice is to be able to control the direction of thought. Think about it: no matter what you say, if you say it the right way--with the right tone of voice, that is--you can dictate the coming response. And, not only do you dictate the response, you dictate the entire remainder of the conversation. I am thinking of this especially today because I witnessed an argument this afternoon. From the outside, an objective observance would conclude that if one of the two would just change their tone of voice, the argument would end. And, not only would the argument end, but resolution would appear on the horizon.There are so many aspects to conversation that one must take into consideration before engaging. For instance, dress. Dress is certainly important to the tone of the overall conversation. If you are dressed casually, initial impressions are much more cordial. If you sport an evening gown or suit, greetings are typically much more formal. Body movement is also vital to the overall tone of the conversation. If you have turrets syndrome, you are out of luck. Rolling your eyes is also a surefire way to breach an exchange. As for me, I talk with my hands every time I open my mouth and it usually plays to my advantage because it distracts the listener just enough so that they make fun of me, which, oddly enough, boosts my confidence in conversation. To interrupt is to automatically insult whomever was speaking. It says "you are not important," which is another action that immediately severs good conversation. While recovery is possible, it takes recognition of the interruption in order to move forward. Let's not forget eye contact. Active eye contact is key to a brilliant listener. If you can listen well, you are three steps ahead of most people because most people are eager to talk and disinterested in listening.

While enjoying the sumptuous spread of finger foods and fruit at Ashley's shower this morning, I had the good fortune to practice these principals with complete strangers, as well as old friends. We delighted in the perfect weather outside and the sweet scent of marriage floating inside. A game of "toilet-paper bride" brought laughter and common ground to every guest, young and old. And, Ashley's extensive collection of lingerie added to her already bubbling excitement, which raised our spirits as well.

However interesting and thoroughly enjoying the morning was, it was full of concentrated conversation and exhaustion slowly overtook me this afternoon. So, to unwind, I went for a long bikeride along the coast. To say it was beautiful does not do justice to what I saw. The wind, fresh and sweet, softly pushed me along as I reflected upon the days events and looked forward to seeing the kids tonight. My attachment for them grows deeper every day and I am beginning to dread December 17. Nonetheless, that is more than two months away. For now, I will enjoy the three legged races we have in the house, the laughter we burst into every time one of us plays a joke on someone else, the hours spent down at the beach, the exclusive after-dinner time in my little studio apartment down below, and the general feel of comfort and security when I am with them.

You see, I can go anywhere by day, converse with anyone I want. But, I always look forward to coming home to these kids and relaxing as I listen to them tell me about their day. That's always the best part of my day. In fact, they are the best part of my day.