I slept under the stars tonight, literally. After I fixed the flat tires on the bike and went for a long bikeride around the city, lost my debit card and then found it again, and stopped by the best boulangerie in southern France, Paul, to pick up a treat for the boys (they love pain au chocolat, which is a pasty bread with delightful chocolate pieces), I needed a bit of relaxing outside. So, I wrapped myself in my new Kimono, got ready for bed, and then I reposed on an oversized towel, not realizing how incredible the view was that I was milliseconds away from discovering.
I couldn't possibly have counted the multitude of stars that seemed just out of reach. They were everywhere, and there were even hazy clouds looming in the sky, resembling another galaxy of sorts. I laid there, inhaling every sound of the night, every sparkle in the sky, and just relaxing in gratitude. Under the stars, perspective always seems to come alive. Suddenly, you are much smaller than you ever thought you could be. Suddenly, what could be overwhelming pales in comparison to the overwhelming light of the night sky. I think tonight was my favorite night here yet. I've catalogued it as an unforgettable memory that can only be expressed with heavy exhales and lifted hands.
I am in the midst of change, once again. As you know, I have decided to move with the family to CA for a few months, and the hectic pains of moving are beginning to set in. My life is in suitcases still. I have told you this already, I am sure, but I am ready to put my feet down. I feel like I can see the end, but there is a glass wall just in front of me and I can not reach the finish line. As I follow Him, He continues to melt the ice for me, but the flame is small, and the process is long. It's as though I'm looking at the path ahead, one clothed in the purple-ish black that is darker than normal black, but He keeps telling me to just look for the next step, for that is the step I can see. Anything beyond the next step is, for now, part of the abyss and is not important today.
Nonetheless, the journey is exciting and the adventure here in France is certainly new every morning. With smiles and sighs, I will continue to walk right behind Him, clutching his robe so as not to trip and fall.
1 comment:
You've always liked to lay in the grass and star gaze...does that bring back old memories? That used to be yours and Dad's time! Missing you, Mom
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