another day with Melvil

So goes life with kids: you will never love one more than another, but you will get to know one faster than another. I spent the day with Melvil again today, riding bikes, playing tennis, going to see Hancock, eating lunch in the city center, and even doing a bit of shopping late this afternoon. I remember when I first arrived, I met Melvil and immediately knew that his softness and his geniality would mesh with my ever-mellowing demeanor. I knew that he was a one-on-one person, just like me. The life of a crowd, the over-excitement and sense of fear that the night brings, and even the pressure of perfection all haunt Melvil just as they haunt me. He's a sweet spirited, joyful young man of 10, and we spent the day chuckling and just 'hanging out.' It is nice to spend time with someone just because they are important to you, especially when it's a child.

I am soaking in everything I can about parenthood from everyone I know. I imagine that parenthood is, perhaps, the most excruciatingly painful and the most gratifying challenge that any human being can even begin to tackle. To raise kids is to love them enough that you instill in their minds the difference between right and wrong while simultaneously letting them choose between the two as best they can. I can barely fathom the responbility of a mother who balances her work with her family. My mom did it, and I have no idea how. She managed 2 highly active kids while working overtime.

It is funny to note that kids really only want to know that someone loves them. Their expressions of love change often, sometimes even daily, but they are no different from adults in their desire to be loved. Everyone wants to know that someone cares. The tricky part is figuring out how to care about someone in a way that they will forever remember your affection. I can still hear my mother saying, "People don't always remember what you say or what you do, but they never forget the way you make them feel." I love trying to understand how people best feel loved and beign able to cater to them. It's the most satisfying feeling to give to someone and know that they genuinely appreciate it. For Melvil, he craves one-on-one time. So, one-on-one time he gets with me.

I am headed to the east coast tomorrow for the weekend, so I may be out of commission. You don't read every day anyways, so whether I write or not is of no importance to you. I will let you know how the trip goes. "Interesting" is the word of choice for this coming trip.