say that again?

Today, I write about my favorite thing: words. When was the last time that you told someone you loved them, hated them, were annoyed with them, thanked them, etc., without any words? How did you do it? What followed?

I am in the midst of strengthening one of my weaknesses: body language. I am not known to be a "touchy" person, and am often noted as being "all about business." Yet, I often hear that I am kind, gentle, fun, and just flat out ridiculously hilarious (ok, I totally made that up, cause you and I both know that I am a total nerd and so not funny). All of the good things about me are expressed with words, while my weaknesses are obvious in silence. And, to be flat honest, I've never thought about it until my words were taken from me.

See, I prominently love and hate with words alone. I survive on the words of my family, the conversations with my best friends, the lessons I get to teach, the verbal approval of my superiors, etc. I am all about words...until they mean nothing to someone else. You see, I am having difficulty communicating in the coloquial French, and thus I spend most of my time listening to people here and just speaking the basics. I am actually strangely enjoying the impossible task of having to be creative in communication. It's good for me, a woman who always wants to be the most intelligent and the most impressive, to have to practice rebuilding a foundation. Isn't that right where He wants us at all times...right at the basics? I am frustrated insomuch as it takes me longer to get things done. For instance, today I went to the center of the city and it took me 3 hours to run only 2 errands.

However, the language of loving children is the same, universally. My prayer, literally at least 50 times each day, is that He would grant me favor with these children. I have played tennis with one of the boys the past couple of days, I've already established a secret handshake with the other oldest boy, the baby (7 months) absolutely adores me and smiles from ear to ear seriously every time he sees me, and the little girl (2 years old) now wants to play with me every waking moment. The two oldest boys (8 and 10) are quickly learning english through Dr. Suess, and all four kids love to swim with me. Again, I am truly in paradise. The family always eats together, the husband (Stephàne) and the wife absolutely adore each other (they begin and/or end each sentence with "mon coeur" or "mon onge"...the english equivalent of "my love" or "my dear,") the kids play together, and I am welcome to be as involved as I like with the family. Everything is wonderful and always inviting. What could be a better way to spend my time now? I am in the midst of learning about the family life. I have spent the past 6 months learning about the business and corporate world, and now it's time for me to stop and listen. This homestead just could not be any more conducive to hearing what He has to say! He is all around in the mountains that I see every morning when I wake, or the massive lake below. He is in the adoration of the children, the care with which Laetitia prepares the meals (which, by the way, are absolutely wonderful and I am enjoying every bite immensely), the paths through the woods that I get to run in, and the time that I spend with the kids. He is here and He is up to something big. He has me in the midst of learning to be quiet and learning to be creative in communication. I take so much for granted that everyone understands me and I expect so often for people to listen to me and "do as I say," that I have never stopped to think, 'how does this person best understand me?' I have never stopped to think about how I am perceived by another, because I am too busy thinking about what I am going to say next. Even little things, like "let's go swimming!" or "you want to play cards?" or "I am so excited about the new shoes I got on sale for 15€ today!" No one understands me. It's time for me to learn to listen beyond words. It's a strange thing to try, but it has become an overwhelming desire. Never before have I actually prayed for someone's favor. Now, I pray and plead for the Lord to grant me favor with my own children, and with my husband too, one day. I beg for His guidance in my life so that I can, without words, explain to someone else how much He loves them.

I am so not ready to come home yet, which is good. Regardless of my overwhelming excitement, part of me thought I would be ready to go within just a few days. Not so, not so. I am engaged in practicing how to absorb every minute of every place He takes me. When it's time to go, I've no doubt whatsoever that I will be ready. For now, it's Avignon et les Baux de Provence and Les Gorges du Verdon this weekend, the international music festival au centre ville d'Aix (in the city center of Aix) tomorrow night, and family vacation next weekend.

In a 21st century one-world culture oversaturated with words, words, words, I can't seem to communicate with them here. What a perfect place to be.

Currently listening to: nothing.